Adopting Isaac

Monday, February 19, 2007

Birth Parents

So we have this great adoption book for Caleb. It is wonderful!! Has information on his home country, religion, immunizations, why we chose to adopt, why we picked out his name and (what I am going to write about now) his birth parents.
One of the reasons we choose international is because we did not want to do open adoption. I felt intimidated by the possibility of birth parents. So much so that it actually scared me. Then out of nowhere last night we were going through the adoption book taking out what we didn’t need (like things about foster parents and visiting at the hospital after he was born) and we came across a page titled first time you met my birth parents and Birth family tree 6 months ago I would not have even looked at that page I would have torn it out hoping Caleb would feel the same like all that mattered was us and our family tree. Yesterday I felt so different (when did this happen to me) I want Caleb to have as much information as possible about his family. I would not dream of taking out those pages from the book now. I even found myself truly hoping that we can get that information for him. Its amazing how much the love of your child can change you even before that child is with you. I feel less selfish it’s not about ME being the only parent he knows or ME being the only one he loves and wants to be with. I see the importance of documenting the first time I met his birth mother and definitely the importance of a birth family tree.
Now with this new awakening I just hope I can give that to him. With Ethiopia it could go either way. With an abandoned child you can’t get that information but a child given to the orphanage by the parent’s is often times willing to meet that adopted parents and say goodbye to their child. So let just hope I don’t have to take out those pages.


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6 Comments:

At 4:34 PM , Blogger Deena said...

You know, your post really speaks volumes on what a wonderful person you are. Adoption is such a unique situation, and I believe all parties involved need to have an open mind. I, too, am adopted and have always wanted to meet my birth mother. While trying to find my BM, I found my twin brother's birth mother. It has been an incredible journey as she is now a part of our family. I say kudos to you! It could open up a whole nother chapter in your life by meeting the birth family. Can't wait until the summer! I know you must be so excited to meet Caleb.

 
At 11:54 PM , Blogger owlhaven said...

It is a complicated issue, isn't it?

Sweet post...

Mary, mom to many, including 2 from Ethiopia
http://ethiopia.adoptionblogs.com

 
At 11:54 AM , Blogger alecat323 said...

Awwwhhh! This is such an exciting time for you both. Caleb will be here soon. I can't wait to see pics.

 
At 1:28 PM , Blogger Unknown said...

Aww, Courtney, I know what you mean. I hope and pray that we'll have something concrete about her birthparents for Addie to have once she's older. It's hard with international adoption.
I think it's so wonderful that you have changed your views on the birthparents. :) You love this little boy so much already!
Sandy

 
At 9:45 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

C-
I am so glad for you and Sar. You are making the best decision so that Caleb can have a deeper sense of identity. Also, when it comes to loving a mother, you two are going to be the BEST!

 
At 12:50 AM , Blogger Chelle said...

That's very sweet and selfless! Caleb will truly benefit from your love, compassion and care.

 

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